i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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