I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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