who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
