I just made out with a guy for $7.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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