Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
