take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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