11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
