p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
