You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
