I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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