Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
