Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
