i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
