I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm just crazy horny about you
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
as a side note pls kill me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
