They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
