I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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