Grow some girl-balls and come out already
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
