Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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