We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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