Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
