Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
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