It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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