we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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