Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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