my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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