I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
