Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
