dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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