U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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