so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
