why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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