Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
