Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
