ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
