Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
