matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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