ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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