i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he fucked my hip out of place.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
