everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
