I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
COCAINE IS GR8
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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