Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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