y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
