Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
