Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
