Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
