were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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