Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
