I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
