If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
