and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
