She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
